Deprecated: Function create_function() is deprecated in /home/customer/www/riochamapublications.com/public_html/libraries/rokcommon/RokCommon/Service/ContainerImpl.php on line 460

Deprecated: Function create_function() is deprecated in /home/customer/www/riochamapublications.com/public_html/libraries/rokcommon/RokCommon/Service/ContainerImpl.php on line 460
THE MYTH OF DOING IT ALL - The Rio Chama Blog

 

Rio Chama Publications


Deprecated: implode(): Passing glue string after array is deprecated. Swap the parameters in /home/customer/www/riochamapublications.com/public_html/plugins/content/jw_allvideos/jw_allvideos.php on line 73
2 minutes reading time (479 words)

THE MYTH OF DOING IT ALL

Many women struggle with the myth of having to “do it all.” In my forthcoming book I consider the woman who was a mother of two children. She also was a bookkeeper in a large organization and routinely brought work home. After spending time with her children in the evening, she stayed up late into the night, completing job-related tasks. Early in the morning she washed laundry and prepared meals in advance. She felt physically exhausted; she was riddled with guilt, because she believed stay-at-home mothers were better mothers; and she felt inadequate because her coworkers seemed to manage their workload during regular hours.  

This woman never paused to question if she labored under false assumptions. Were her standards unrealistic? Were her coworkers as meticulous as she? Did she strive to be impossibly “perfect”? 

Blog15AMany polls have documented the prevalence of this myth among women, and Christine Hassler, life coach and author, links it to a misunderstanding of feminism: “Feminism is not about having it all or doing it all. Feminism is about the freedom to make choices.” When she speaks to groups of women and asks how many experience overwhelming stress and anxiety, almost every hand goes up. Hassler recognizes that so many overburdened and tired women are not enjoying themselves. On the other hand, women who nurture their preferences and abilities, and make choices that support those, appear peaceful and happy. This entails self-awareness and self-exploration.  

When my husband confronted me during our marriage about the amount of time I spent on a civil rights project, which he perceived as taking too much time away from the children, I was shocked and distraught. Up until that point he had been supportive of my work for the cause. After several days of personal reflection and observation, I knew there was truth to what he was saying. I made the choice to reduce my time with the organization, which not only allowed me more time with my children, it also gave me an opportunity to reconnect with my priorities.  

Blog15BIn taking a closer look at the hidden aspects of why I had become so involved in the project, I realized how my “serving behaviors,” at least in part, fed the view I had of myself as a generous giver of time and energy to people in need. The problem with this was that I shortchanged not only my children but also myself, for there was little time or space for consideration of my personal needs. It didn’t take long for me to relax into being the mother I had always sought to be—content and accomplished as a housewife, managing the affairs of family and home. When the children were old enough, I chose to pursue a career. 

Do you have a sense of what “doing it all” means in your life? Have there been times when you’ve “sacrificed” yourself for others? If so, what was the outcome? Is there a balance between meeting your own needs and those of others? If not, are there steps you can take to create that? As always, comments are most welcome!  

THE POWER OF JOURNEYING
WOMEN AND LEADERSHIP: LEADING FROM THE HEART

Related Posts

 

Comments

No comments made yet. Be the first to submit a comment
Guest
Monday, 25 October 2021

Captcha Image

Search Blog

Blog Tags

awareness leadership change emotions spiritual/spirituality health stress sense of self relationships holistic healing feminism aging exercise shadow self sexuality love reunion coronavirus soul ego anxiety shamanism yoga tai chi swimming walking Thank You community children peace depression dementia shame kindness healing diet attunement Gandhi employee learning pandemic employer parent-infant attachment styles brainhealth music giving mental health compassion creativity cancer racism elephants support choir gym vinaminc the feminine ageism civilrights gretathunberg harmonica nature Tim Ryan retreat epilepsy celebration gardening challenges holidays Vietnam Starbucks mindfulness books prejudice alcoholism nonprofit goodhumans nonlinear immigration boss nuturance resolution deepermeaning democrat matriarchs benefitsofsinging religion innerkid sleep New Book sermononthemount helpingothers patriotic attention intimacy fundraising holiday nutirents environment connection food fatherandson loneliness mindfulmeditation literature self-soothing RBG animals liverdisease happiness dancing transitions Albert Einstein work environment inmates newyear humanity brainscience resilience sacred sex unity Christmas soothe rest Amma wisdom Jesus contributing fun Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter arguing gratitude freshfood nutrition imagination inclusion pilots companions present protests addiction emotional support animals cardiomyopathy smile zoom lifechanges brain growth 2020 inequality millennials goodneighbors dolphin job spiritualpractice calm campaign feminine divine feminine goodandevil positivethinking hero parenting age sustainable omega3 acupuncture dreams elderly breath power homeless dogs pancreatitis Thanksgiving newnormal unknown intuition altzheimers habits earth caretaking nonviolence rebuilding covid19 midwest integrity prison adoption fightorflight election development wholeness ego growth stages friendships singingrevolution liftingweights hobbies vitaminb astrology ideal self alzheimers climatecrisis friendship quiet Dalai Lama smiling horses collaboration notgivingup lifepath balance the unconscious mediterraneandiet el paso socialresponsibility hope agingparents alcohol neighborhood holocaustsurvivors goodthings morality accountability education families god republican healthy brain Congratulations

Login